textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
