Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
if only i could text you this smell
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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