with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
