butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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