Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
