we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize