if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
