i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
