Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
