I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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