My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
