One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
