Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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