The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
