im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
