This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
