at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
