The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize