There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
