Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
