Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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