I can tuck mytits in my pants
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize