this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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