He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize