Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
