If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
