we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
