The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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