they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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