Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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