I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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