You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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