Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
