kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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