Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
