No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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