Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just google imaged poop.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Boobs are out for the taking
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
