Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize