it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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