Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
