Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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