I love black thongs
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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