C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
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