dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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