Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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