the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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