I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
