can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
