Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
