Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
