Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
