do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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