I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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