Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
