I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize