he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This is the high leading the old right now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
