well I can't set my house on fire every night
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize