If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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