pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my shit smells like andre
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
