She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
