dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
