I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
