Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize