YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
