and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
