i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
