I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize