I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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