Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
