'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
