He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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