Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
