Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
